 | #73 Approaching Old Age!posted by Des Bergin, Premium MembershipWednesday, August 25th 2010 @ 12:00 AM (not yet rated) |
Many thanks for Des Bergin on this very funny and thought provoking story about growing old. It reminds me of a famous quote: "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter -- Mark Twain. Enjoy the feature article members......
RECENTLY I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AGE ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER A. A. A. D.D.D.. THIS IS HOW IT MANIFESTS.
I DECIDE TO WATER MY LAWN. AS I TURN THE HOSE IN THE DRIVEWAY, I LOOK OVER AT MY CAR AND DECIDE IT NEEDS A WASHING.
AS I WALKED TOWARDS THE GARAGE, I NOTICE THERE IS MAIL ON THE PORCH TABLE AND DECIDE TO GO THROUGH THE MAIL BEFORE I WASH THE CAR.
I LAY MY KEYS DOWN ON THE TABLE PUT THE JUNK MAIL IN THE RUBBISH BIN AND NOTICE THAT THE BIN IS FULL. SO I DECIDE TAKE OUT THE RUBBISH FIRST.
I AM FEELING THIRSTY SO I GO INTO THE KITCHEN TO GET COKE FROM THE FRIDGE. ON MY WAY IN A VASE OF FLOWERS CATCHES MY EYE WHICH THEY NEED TO BE WATERED.
BESIDE THE VASE I FIND THE READING GLASSES THAT I WAS SEARCHING ALL MORNING FOR I GO TO PUT THEM ON MY DESK, BUT FIRST I AM GOING TO WATER THE FLOWERS.
I FILL THE CONTAINER WITH WATER WHEN I SPOT THE TV REMOTE BUT I WONT REMEMBER ITS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE WHEN I GO TO WATCH TV TO NIGHT , SO I DECIDE TO PUT IT IN THE LIVING ROOM WHERE IT BELONGS, BUT FIRST I MUST WATER THE FLOWERS.
I THEN HEAD DOWN THE HALL TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT I WAS PLANNING TO DO!!!
ATTHE END OF THE DAY---- THE LAWN IS NOT WATERED----THE FLOWERS DONT HAVE ENOUGH WATER--- ICANT FIND THE REMOTE---- I CANT FIND MY GLASSES--- MY NEIGHBOUR CALLS TO TELL ME HE TURNED OF THE HOSE THAT WAS FLOODING THE DRIVEWAY.
THEN I TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHY NOTHIN GOT DONE TODAY,AS I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG. I THINK I WILL GET SOME HELP FOR IT BUT FIRST I MUST CHECK MY E- MAIL.
PLEASE DONT LAUGH YOUR DAY IS COMING. GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY ---- GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL---- LAUGHING IS THERAPEUTIC.
Regards
Des Bergin,
President of Clondalkin Toastmasters 2010-11 Season