A bit of humor is very important to bring a smile to our members faces...anyone can join in :-)

A bar joke is called for here!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling: “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement when the Japanese man starts to yell louder. “You sign! You sign!” Nelson says to him, “Look mate, you’ve obviously got the wrong bloke. Get lost!.” and shuts the door in the Japanese man’s face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Japanese man is back, with a huge truck full of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson’s nose, yelling “You sign! You sign!” Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Japanese man back, shouting: “Look, get lost!! You’ve got the wrong bloke! I don’t want them!” then slams the door in the Japanese man’s face again.

The following day Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, hears a knock on the door again. Upon opening the door, the little Japanese man thrusts the same clipboard under his nose, shouting “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him are TWO large trucks full of wing mirrors. Nelson loses his temper completely, picks the little man up by his shirt front and yells at him: “Look, I don’t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who do you want to give these to?” The little Japanese man looks at him a bit puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: “You not Nissan Maindealer?”

Thank you for spreading some humour Barry :-)